Friends...

I love my friends. I have so many and I truly feel blessed for that. I have a lot of different groups of friends. So I always feel like I have someone that I can call. One group of friends that I have been missing is my friends from high school. We were so close and did lots of crazy things. I loved being with them.
We could finish each others sentences,  tell each other everything, say basically nothing but know exactly what we were trying to say, and somehow we never got sick of each other. I miss it.
This summer we have reconnected and I am absolutely loving it. We aren't all going to the same school but we have made plans to see each other.
That kind of friendship that we had, is the kind of friendship I hope I can keep making and keep for the rest of my life. There are hardly other feelings better than the feeling of knowing you have five best friends who would do anything to be with you and understand you perfectly. (I admit, that some things come to a close second and possibly one day I will find other feelings better. However, right now, it is one of the best.)
I love my friends.

Boys...

Yes, I love boys. :)
I went to the movies and I was the only girl. I'm not saying that I really love just being the center of attention, but I enjoyed being with them all last night. They don't judge and gossip; it was just a fun night. And therefore I enjoyed myself very much.
The boys I were with were very kind to me and respectful. You don't see that a lot and I appreciated it.
They all opened doors, paid for me (even when I insisted I pay), made sure I wasn't alone, complimented me, and included me in the conversation. At the end of the night they even wanted to make more plans to hang out.
Most of these boys I have known since elementary school; so it is nothing new to hang out with them. But the effort was most definitely noticed.
I have basically had a boyfriend since sophomore year of high school and before that it was very common knowledge that I liked someone. So being single and not being afraid to hang out with whomever I would like to has been so incredibly refreshing.
I had a very good time and I would love to hang out with them all again. But don't worry, I will be sure not to crash all of their boy nights.

First Email...

I got an email!!!!
Okay, so I didn't get an email. But Sister Haines did and she let me read it. And he sounded so happy. I couldn't help but smile and I almost cried. It was so good to hear from him. At the end of the letter he said for his mom to send my address to him so that he could write me, with three exclamation points!!! So I just wrote a letter and sent it. I can't wait to receive one from him. Everyone has said that it is so much fun writing and the best feeling in the world when you get a letter. Even just that one email has shown me that that is true.
I'm so excited!!

Fighting Emotions...

I want him to come back: to hold me, kiss me, talk to me.

If he comes back I will be devastated.

If only I could cry; when the clouds can no longer rain there follows a drought.

I could leap for joy and be nothing but happy.

He asked for things to change: to just go back to friends.

The hardest part was realizing it was for the better.

The last kiss knocked me down; I knew it wouldn’t last forever.

He cried too so I wouldn’t feel so helpless, right?

We should be together now; there was so much more I wanted to share with him.

Hearts are incredibly strong: I know.

Hearts can beat as one from miles away, but can they break apart too?

We can make it because we have beaten the odds before.

I should have seen the pain coming.

Can you take it away just for a day; I need to breathe again.

Can we make promises just for today: to bring some solace.

I shouldn’t ask for this because I know this is right.

He could make it better, but he can’t.

Last night he visited my dreams; waking up was a nightmare.

Last time he told me he loved me, his voice cracked.

He could possibly never say that again: no.

We can’t: hear each other’s voices or see each other’s faces.

The only way to cope is to pray.

The pain begins to fade, but the loneliness stays until the end.

We know it is right and that we are never truly alone.

You want to know my secrets?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder comes from where the grass is greener.

Distance only makes me homesick: your arms are my castle.

You want to know if we can make it…we can.

If the hearts can last the distance.

My Best Friend...

My best friend is Sean Haines or should I say, Elder Haines. We met in high school and ever since we have always been honest with each other. He has always been there for me; through boyfriends, girlfriend drama, family issues, and just the normal girl emotional roller-coaster.
We didn't go to the same college so during the school year we didn't see each other as much as we would have liked. Thank goodness for Skype though.
We began unofficially dating and it was the happiest I had been in a really long time. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. And somehow through it all, he was still always my best friend first. I can't remember ever really having an argument or feeling hurt by him.
Today I said goodbye to him. He is leaving for 2 years to serve a mission for our church in Independence, Missouri  speaking Spanish. I'm so incredibly proud of him and excited for him. But still, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do...letting him go.
I feel like in a way I have lost my best friend. I can't text him every random thought I have. It will take a week for him to get any big news from me and another week to get a reply. I won't see his face or hear his voice for 2 years. It feels so far away now. It hurts and is so hard.
I want to just curl up in my bed and eat ice cream and watch movies all day long; except, most movies remind me of him. And ice cream was how we really started to get to know each other. So that really just brings more memories. But it is going to be impossible to forget him. He was and is such a big part of my life and who I have grown to be. He has made me better and made me feel more comfortable with myself. He is my best friend.
I'm so proud of him. I know this is the right thing and I don't want it any other way.
But I miss him. And it has only been 9 hours.

My Hair...

So, I got a perm about 2 months before the trip. It wasn't like I looked like a poodle. I like it on most days. But in this heat and humidity...
My mom warned me.
It was frizzy and way curlier than it ever was in Alaska.
I wore it in a pony-tail most days. And when I felt like it could be down...it wasn't down long. But I am glad that I have long hair.
My sister has short hair and she can't fit it in a pony-tail. I wouldn't like that at all.
And once I returned to Alaska, I remembered I do like my hair curly. But I'm sure that I will REALLY like my hair once it is back the way it is naturally meant to be.