A Good Nights Rest...

Here's the deal:
I have been messing up my sleep schedule. I realize that I only have myself to blame. But let's be honest, I am not in the mood to blame myself. So the delusional truth...the universe is conspiring against me.
Last week I has a ton of academic, church, and social obligations. By the end of each day the homework fairies had failed to diminish the stack any decent amount. Therefore, I had no choice but stay up and do it myself. My teachers would be so proud...right.
Multiple times I was in bed at a very undisciplined time. Way past my bed-time. But I had no choice!!
Confession:
One night I didn't sleep at all.
I know, I know. I'm slapping the back of my hand right now.
No sleep=A grumpy me. Oops.
But no worries-I slept in way past dawn on Saturday. I feel it was completely justifiable. Here comes the crazy part.
My roommates are insane. Period.
But about every couple days I think their little routine is a little genius. So thus, I was hoodwinked.
Last week during my insane life and lack of sleep I was in one of those moods. So I joined in on the insanity, woke up at 6:30 am and went running.
I'm not even sure how I feel about running.
After catching up on sleep, I was bracing myself for the upcoming week of multiple test, assignments and friends. And gosh darn it, I promised-in my moment of weakness-to run EVERY morning this week.
Goodbye dear-and-precious sleep.

Pinterest...

Yes, I have jumped on that bandwagon.
And I will defend it all day if I must. But instead why don't you just go check out all my pins. Then I think everyone will understand.
http://pinterest.com/elleinlove/
Comment leaving your email and I will send you an invite to become part of the phenomenon. Cause I'm cool like that.

Service...

I love scrubs.
I always get kind of envious when I see someone wearing them. I had the opportunity to wear some for a mentorship and I fully enjoyed every moment of it.
I had an ah-ha moment last week. (Thank you Freshman History teacher for making me constantly use that terminology instead of something much more sophisticated.)
I love the heart of all the occupations that involve scrubs. Nurse's main job is to take care of people. Doctor's job is to heal people. Dental jobs help do something for everyone that we obviously can't do well enough on our own. :)
Ready for the epiphany? All of those jobs mean helping serve others. I realize other jobs can do the same, for example a teacher. But they don't wear scrubs so they are not included just yet.
Many roadblocks, very indestructible roadblocks, have been placed in between me and these scrubs. After being humbled, I discovered my dream job.
Service. Did you know you could major in that?! Okay, not service exactly but pretty dang close. The technical terminology: Public Health with an emphasis on Health Promotion and a minor in Non-Profit Organizations. So amazing!!
I am so excited.

Mexican Food...

Last night I went to a Spanish Ward social. My new ward tutors the kids in math and other not as exciting school subjects and the parents in English. As a result they invited my ward to come to their activity and we ate food and socialized with them. The food was amazing! I love authentic Mexican food. Not that taco bell crap. However, don't ask them what the meat is...they use anything and everything. Just to give you an idea: cow feet, stomach, intestines, brain, eyes; you get the idea. But I did learn that my favorite dish included cow tongue. If you don't think about it too hard and can still eat it, it is absolutely delicious.

Plans....

I like when things are planned out. That way you can enjoy the event or whatever without worrying every second whatever else needs to be worked on. Ugh. I hate when things don't go according to plan either. And I also hate not knowing the plan. I just like to be in the know. I want to know everything to make sure everything is going just as planned. I guess that is why I love planners.

Friends...

I love my friends. I have so many and I truly feel blessed for that. I have a lot of different groups of friends. So I always feel like I have someone that I can call. One group of friends that I have been missing is my friends from high school. We were so close and did lots of crazy things. I loved being with them.
We could finish each others sentences,  tell each other everything, say basically nothing but know exactly what we were trying to say, and somehow we never got sick of each other. I miss it.
This summer we have reconnected and I am absolutely loving it. We aren't all going to the same school but we have made plans to see each other.
That kind of friendship that we had, is the kind of friendship I hope I can keep making and keep for the rest of my life. There are hardly other feelings better than the feeling of knowing you have five best friends who would do anything to be with you and understand you perfectly. (I admit, that some things come to a close second and possibly one day I will find other feelings better. However, right now, it is one of the best.)
I love my friends.

Boys...

Yes, I love boys. :)
I went to the movies and I was the only girl. I'm not saying that I really love just being the center of attention, but I enjoyed being with them all last night. They don't judge and gossip; it was just a fun night. And therefore I enjoyed myself very much.
The boys I were with were very kind to me and respectful. You don't see that a lot and I appreciated it.
They all opened doors, paid for me (even when I insisted I pay), made sure I wasn't alone, complimented me, and included me in the conversation. At the end of the night they even wanted to make more plans to hang out.
Most of these boys I have known since elementary school; so it is nothing new to hang out with them. But the effort was most definitely noticed.
I have basically had a boyfriend since sophomore year of high school and before that it was very common knowledge that I liked someone. So being single and not being afraid to hang out with whomever I would like to has been so incredibly refreshing.
I had a very good time and I would love to hang out with them all again. But don't worry, I will be sure not to crash all of their boy nights.

First Email...

I got an email!!!!
Okay, so I didn't get an email. But Sister Haines did and she let me read it. And he sounded so happy. I couldn't help but smile and I almost cried. It was so good to hear from him. At the end of the letter he said for his mom to send my address to him so that he could write me, with three exclamation points!!! So I just wrote a letter and sent it. I can't wait to receive one from him. Everyone has said that it is so much fun writing and the best feeling in the world when you get a letter. Even just that one email has shown me that that is true.
I'm so excited!!

Fighting Emotions...

I want him to come back: to hold me, kiss me, talk to me.

If he comes back I will be devastated.

If only I could cry; when the clouds can no longer rain there follows a drought.

I could leap for joy and be nothing but happy.

He asked for things to change: to just go back to friends.

The hardest part was realizing it was for the better.

The last kiss knocked me down; I knew it wouldn’t last forever.

He cried too so I wouldn’t feel so helpless, right?

We should be together now; there was so much more I wanted to share with him.

Hearts are incredibly strong: I know.

Hearts can beat as one from miles away, but can they break apart too?

We can make it because we have beaten the odds before.

I should have seen the pain coming.

Can you take it away just for a day; I need to breathe again.

Can we make promises just for today: to bring some solace.

I shouldn’t ask for this because I know this is right.

He could make it better, but he can’t.

Last night he visited my dreams; waking up was a nightmare.

Last time he told me he loved me, his voice cracked.

He could possibly never say that again: no.

We can’t: hear each other’s voices or see each other’s faces.

The only way to cope is to pray.

The pain begins to fade, but the loneliness stays until the end.

We know it is right and that we are never truly alone.

You want to know my secrets?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder comes from where the grass is greener.

Distance only makes me homesick: your arms are my castle.

You want to know if we can make it…we can.

If the hearts can last the distance.

My Best Friend...

My best friend is Sean Haines or should I say, Elder Haines. We met in high school and ever since we have always been honest with each other. He has always been there for me; through boyfriends, girlfriend drama, family issues, and just the normal girl emotional roller-coaster.
We didn't go to the same college so during the school year we didn't see each other as much as we would have liked. Thank goodness for Skype though.
We began unofficially dating and it was the happiest I had been in a really long time. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. And somehow through it all, he was still always my best friend first. I can't remember ever really having an argument or feeling hurt by him.
Today I said goodbye to him. He is leaving for 2 years to serve a mission for our church in Independence, Missouri  speaking Spanish. I'm so incredibly proud of him and excited for him. But still, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do...letting him go.
I feel like in a way I have lost my best friend. I can't text him every random thought I have. It will take a week for him to get any big news from me and another week to get a reply. I won't see his face or hear his voice for 2 years. It feels so far away now. It hurts and is so hard.
I want to just curl up in my bed and eat ice cream and watch movies all day long; except, most movies remind me of him. And ice cream was how we really started to get to know each other. So that really just brings more memories. But it is going to be impossible to forget him. He was and is such a big part of my life and who I have grown to be. He has made me better and made me feel more comfortable with myself. He is my best friend.
I'm so proud of him. I know this is the right thing and I don't want it any other way.
But I miss him. And it has only been 9 hours.

My Hair...

So, I got a perm about 2 months before the trip. It wasn't like I looked like a poodle. I like it on most days. But in this heat and humidity...
My mom warned me.
It was frizzy and way curlier than it ever was in Alaska.
I wore it in a pony-tail most days. And when I felt like it could be down...it wasn't down long. But I am glad that I have long hair.
My sister has short hair and she can't fit it in a pony-tail. I wouldn't like that at all.
And once I returned to Alaska, I remembered I do like my hair curly. But I'm sure that I will REALLY like my hair once it is back the way it is naturally meant to be. 

My Ears Before the "Accident"...

Have you ever heard of the game "Would You Rather?"? Well there is a question that goes along the lines of, "Would you rather spend the rest of your life with swimmer's ear or a constant ringing in your ear?" I would never with for either of those to anyone.
At the water park I had the misfortune of getting water in my ears. I have been swimming for years. I was on the swim team in high school and I love water. Never have I had swimmer's ear. But that day, I got it. We tried all the remedies and ear drops you could imagine.
3 days later...still reading lips.
The two ears were a little different. They always have been seeing as the ears have been crooked since birth. My right ear was just plugged, but my right ear was plugged...and the pain. It was constant with sudden pierces of pain. I took medicine and still no relief.
4th day, Aunt Jessica gave me some antibiotics to see if it would help. I woke up, took the pill, put more swimmer's ear in my ears and kept reading lips.
About a week later the pain was gone, but so was my hearing.
I hadn't seen my cousins in 7 years and now that I was with them I couldn't hear them?! I wasn't too happy about this. And along with that, everyone around me would get frustrated with repeating themselves when I would say, "What" to everything. Or thought I was ignoring them. I felt out of the loop. I could see everyone laughing, but I had no idea why.
10 days later, I could start to hear out of my left ear. HOORAY!! But then the irony set in. The pain in my right ear was gone...but now came the ringing.
Not even kidding.
My left ear, I think, is all better. However, I still can't hear out of my right ear. And that ringing we all hate, yeah, that is still there.
13 days and counting...

Rich People Activities...

My grandparents friends own a sailboat and they invited us to go out with them one Saturday.
It was a nice warm day in the bay near the Florida coast. We saw dolphins too. (A nice surprise, though I always think of the movie "Failure to Launch" when they are "killer dolphins" haha.)
I could have become use to sailing. I read my book and layed out in the sun and enjoyed it very much.
We even scored a "treasure". A boogy board was floating along and we picked it up and later used it at the beach.
Score.

Beaches...

Oh yes, I love this very much.
We only went a couple times because my siblings insisted they were melting in the heat and humidity. But there is something so relaxing about the waves and sand and shells. I could have spent the entire vacation laying on the beach and walking at night.
This time we were not at the Pensacola Beach. We went to the beach closer to my grandparent's condo. It was not nearly as crowded. Suprisingly, I didn't like that aspect. I wish there had been more people. I'm not sure why.
The sand is one of my favorite parts. That's also my dad's least favorite part. I don't mind that it gets everywhere. That is what showering is for. I love the way it feels between my toes and how soft and hot it is on my feet, holding it in my hands and letting it slip through my hands. Drawing words and shapes in the sand quickly before the waves wash it away.
Footprints.
The beach is a beautiful place. I love them very much.

Air Conditioning

I love the warmth of the sun. I love feeling the burn on my skin when laying in the sun. I love...air conditioning.
Humidity, not my thing.
We would have died without it. No doubt.
Whoever invented that is getting a special welcome from me in Heaven.
Thank you.

Olive Garden...

My younger siblings had never been to this iconic Italian restaunt seeing as we do not have the pleasure of having one within a few thousand miles. However, that does not mean that they had never heard of it.
My parents first date was at an Olive Garden in Pensacola, Florida. We went to this exact Olive Garden and enjoyed ourselves.
Our poor waiter had to wait on all 7 of us and he couldn't believe how much we could eat... :) He did a pretty good job of keeping up with more salad, soup, and of course, the breadsticks.
After we finished stuffing our mouths we all rolled to the car and laughed about how much we ate. We compared "food baby's" and prayed we would feel relief soon. My grandma (we call her MeeMee) did not believe we would be hungry for dinner.
I'm pretty sure all our stomachs had been stretched at lunch because we all ate more then normal. Yum.

Excuses...

So I got one post done and that was it. FAILED. But I do have a good excuse.
I went on a family vacation to visit my grandparents and cousins and while there I discovered I did not have internet.
I wrote a lot of things in my journal. I even dedicated a few lists to the blog so I wouldn't forget.
So now, I am going to make them all up. So if they aren't that exciting, it is because I'm getting sick of writing about old stuff and I want to write about the present. (Another fabulous excuse)
I will finish...I can see the light.

Goals...

1. Post at least one thought everyday.
2. Nothing but honesty...even if it includes vulnerability.
3. Keep my tumblr up to date with this blog.
4. Take the time to love this blog. 
5. Take notice before it all changes.
6. Be a best friend
7. Over use "I love you"
8. Never let my praying knees get lazy
9. It's okay to be a little cheesy. (ie.the last three lines are song lyrics)
10. Admit my faults and work hard to fix them.
11. Share what I love.
12. NEVER delete a post.